I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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