Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My vagina is officially offended.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize