That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
