i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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