I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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