Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
