Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you traded sex for a burrito?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
