it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
