so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
