Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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