I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
