96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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