not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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