If that was your dad, he is hot
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
