Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize