I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
