She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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