I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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