I'm lost and stupid without you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
