did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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