That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
