just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
