Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
