her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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