i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i think i just lost a toe
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