My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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