Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
