i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
