It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
