So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize