i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
