you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
