At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
