In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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