fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
