we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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