the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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