the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the day after is always just damage control
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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