Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
