so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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