i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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