I seem to have left my pride at pride
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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