so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
