I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everclear isn't food dammit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
