I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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