I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
