You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The air was thick with penises
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize