am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
