My hand turned me down
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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