It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
