I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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