Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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