If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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