Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
