i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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