im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
be right there i have to get my cape
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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