If that was your dad, he is hot
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
