Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
