Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
