She said her name was "party"
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
