It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
